Families, Teens, and Religion

A lot of Young Adult literature that involves religion usually revolves around the teen figuring out what their religious beliefs are and their family’s role in that decision. The last book I read, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, put a lot of emphasis on family dynamics and how strong an influence parents and grandparents have on a child’s religious beliefs. Margaret felt very distressed about whether to become an atheist like her parents, Jewish like her grandmother, or Christian like her other grandparents. She felt like she had to choose one of them because she felt that if she didn’t choose, she was in some way, betraying her family if she didn’t choose (although her parents made it clear that it was completely her choice when it comes to religion).

In a recent survey, it was found out that about 82% of teens identify as Protestant, Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Mormon, or Jewish. Most of these teens are following in their parents’ footsteps. Does following their parents’ footsteps make them have a closer relationship with God, or their parents though? It seems to be the latter as the majority of teens today have a very superficial idea of their religion. Knowledge of their religion is shallow, and it’s hard for them to express the difference their belief in God makes in their lives. To many teens, God exists simply to solve their problems and to make people happy. Divine truth, exploration of the self, and a deep connection with God is not the purpose of religion to them.

More information about this study can be found in the book “Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers,” and this link: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/7019023/ns/us_news/t/study-most-us-teens-serious-about-religion/#.Ux_m616KWrc

It can be assumed from these survey results that teens mostly believe in God because, “Mom and Dad told me to.” Ever since they have been old enough to go to church, they have been told what to believe—they didn’t make a meaningful decision for themselves.

Does this mean that parents should not raise their child in a church environment until they can decide what they want for themselves? I cannot say, but I can say that there are a lot of positives to raising a child in a church environment. Religious teens tend to have better emotional health, academic success, community involvement, concern for others, trust of adults, and avoidance of risky behavior. Is there a way to retain that benefit and still allow teens to make decisions about their religious beliefs?

One suggestion is to be open-minded about discussing religious beliefs. Let the teen form his/her own religious beliefs over time. If the teen doesn’t want to go to church because he/she doesn’t agree with church teachings, open it up for discussion.

The NBC article below says there is research that suggests that family bonding is more important than religious beliefs. The teen should feel comfortable discussing religious beliefs with their family. If we came away with anything from Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. it should be that family relationships are more important than the religion your child chooses to believe in.

For more advice, check out this link: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/7349996/ns/health-childrens_health/t/when-parents-teens-clash-over-religion/#.Ux_hEV6KWr.