The Difference Between Religion and Spirituality

This topic isn’t really related to The Chosen, but it is a topic I am curious about, and I think people should understand the difference between religion and spirituality.

If you look up this topic in Google, it’ll be difficult to find an unbiased, objective explanation of the difference between religion and spirituality.  It makes sense as religion and spirituality are both very personal things. However, I did find one resource that provided a pretty good explanation right here. 

One problem when looking for sources on this topic is that most people claimed to say that religion has everything negative associated with it and spirituality has everything positive associated with it. This is not true, and it’s disrespectful to religious people to say that there is nothing positive about religion whatsoever.

What’s interesting about the term, “spirituality” is that is seems to be unique to America. People in other countries are either religious or nonreligious. America has a history of making religion a more personal and private thing, and spirituality is a way of doing so. What specifically is the difference between religion and spirituality though?

I seemed to have broached the difference in the previous paragraph, but let’s keep in mind that there is no valid difference between religion and spirituality. Spirituality is religious and religion is spiritual. The difference seems to be the difference between spirituality and organized religion. Spirituality is a form of religion, but it is a more personal and private form of religion. Organized religion seems to be more about community, public ritual, and organized doctrine.

The difference between the two is not all that clear, but people seem to agree on that distinction. I personally believe that someone can be a spiritual person and not believe in a god or gods. I always believed that spirituality is about a higher connectedness to the universe or a deeper understanding of the self. Of course, you can disagree with me—I’m sure that many people do!

I am a big fan of venn diagrams, and I found a terrific one that seems to highlight the differences between religion and spirituality:

What is the difference between religion and spirituality for you?

Book Review: The Chosen by Chaim Potok

The book is about a friendship between two Jewish boys in Brooklyn at around the end of World War Two. One boy, Reuven Malter, is the narrator and is a traditional, Orthodox Jew. The other boy, Danny Saunders is a Hasid and is a prodigy who loves psychoanalysis. They meet at a baseball game, where Danny hits Reuven in the eye when he is pitching, so Reuven is rushed to the hospital. Danny later visits him to ask for forgiveness. From then on, the two boys become best friends. The book also explores the boys’ relationships with their fathers. Danny’s father is Reb Saunders, who is a sixth generation Rabbi, and Danny is expected to take his place even though he doesn’t want to. Reuven’s father is David Malter, and he is more open-minded and accepting of modern America. A powerful book about family, friendship, and what it means to be Jewish in America.

This novel is not an easy read—you will have to work to understand this, especially if you are not familiar with the Jewish religion. I personally don’t know that much about the Jewish religion, so I learned a lot from this book. However, it was a bit overwhelming for me at times because of all the vocabulary. I had to write down words I didn’t know so I could look them up later on. The Chosen is worth the work though.

The book shows us two perspectives on being Jewish in America during that time period, and these perspectives are represented by the boys’ fathers. Danny’s father, Reb Saunders, is not willing to interpret Judaism in any other way than his own. He is not willing to embrace modern times because he is held back by tradition. Reuven’s father, David Malter, is tolerant of different perspectives on Judaism, and he adapts his religious beliefs to fit-in with modern times. At the end of the book, Reb Saunders becomes more open-minded, and this is the view Potok encourages.

You have probably guessed from the title of the book that The Chosen also emphasizes choice. No one in the book chooses to be Jewish on their own—that aspect of their life was chosen for them. Danny does not choose to take over his father’s position in the community when he dies—that role was chosen for him. Danny has other passions though, and he wants to choose a different path through life. His father does not support that until later, when he realizes that America is a land of choice, and Danny should decide for himself what he wants to do in life.

What I liked about this book was that even though it talked about the holocaust because it took place during World War Two, it wasn’t about the holocaust. This book asked what it meant to be Jewish in a rapidly changing America. If you’re a teacher, I recommend teaching this alongside holocaust literature such as The Book Thief or The Boy in the Striped Pajamas so your students can see what it was like being Jewish in different parts of the world during that time in history.

I think boys would enjoy this more than girls, but girls can still appreciate the book and identify with the characters. There’s not a lot of Young Adult books out there aimed at boys, and The Chosen is one of those few aimed at boys. I also think it would be great if both the parents and their teens read this book at the same time. In The Chosen, the fathers learn to see their sons as individuals, but they also make sure that they don’t forget where they came from. Parents can learn a lot from David Malter and Reb Saunders.

Overall, I give five out of five stars—it really was a great book with a lot to say. There’s a baseball scene in the beginning that is terrible, but I promise, once you get past that scene, the book improves dramatically.

Here’s a link to the book on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/The-Chosen-Chaim-Potok/dp/0449213447/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395593122&sr=8-1&keywords=the+chosen

Teens and Atheism

In the spirit of the last book I read, Godless by Pete Hautman, I am going to write about atheism for this post. The word “atheism” can mean different things to different people, but it generally means the absence of belief that any god(s) exist. A survey conducted in 2012 tells us that about 2.4% of Americans are atheists, 3.3% are agnostic, and 13.9% don’t identify themselves with any religion. Those numbers are rising too.

In Godless, the main character, Jason, was an atheist because he did not believe in the existence of God, and he saw organized religion as an institution. Other atheists choose to be one because they believe that the evidence against the existence of God is more compelling than any evidence that there is a God. Some use the Problem of Evil as justification for their atheism. Every atheist has his or her own reasons for not believing in God.

Most atheists though, are under the age of thirty, and teenagers account for a large amount of that number. This may be because for some, atheism is a phase, although for most, this isn’t the case, and you should take a teen’s decision to become an atheist seriously and respect that decision. This also may be because atheism is becoming more acceptable in society and because education is being separated from the church.

Unfortunately though, a lot of people still aren’t open to accepting atheism completely. If a teen declares him/herself an atheist, their parents don’t react in an accepting way. They try to change the teen and in extreme cases, excommunicate them. It’s hard being an atheist in a world that believes in a god or gods. I am speaking from personal experience too.

When I decided I was an atheist around the time I was in middle school, my parents were obviously not happy with my decision. They accepted my decision to become an atheist, but they didn’t respect it. At family gatherings, I was mocked because I was the only atheist there. Sometimes my family would be talking about a miracle or a religious experience and my mother would say something like, “Oh wait…Paige can’t understand this because she’s an atheist.” The whole table would either burst out laughing or look at me pitifully. I immediately felt like an outsider in my own family.

Some have it worse than me though, and thankfully, I live in a time when atheism is acceptable in society. If you are a parent with a teen who has decided to become an atheist, the websites below say to respect their decision and ask them why—they might have a good reason. If their reason is they have become an atheist because they don’t like getting up early to go to church, THEN you can ask them to reconsider. Otherwise, let them be and ask them to respect your beliefs and you will respect theirs.

For teens and parents looking for resources, check out these websites:

http://www.kidswithoutgod.com/   

http://atheismforkidsandteens.com/en/

Book Review: Godless by Pete Hautman

Jason is tired of the Catholic religion, which is always forced upon him by his parents and his teen church group. One day, when getting beat up by a guy much smaller than he is by the water tower, he has a religious moment of realization. The water tower provides life to the town, so therefore, the water tower is God. Jason, along with his gastropod-collecting best friend, found the religion of Chutengodianism. Originally founded as a joke, the Church of the Ten-Legged One (the water tower) grows in size and the teens become more serious about their faith. They start to do stupid, dangerous things in the name of their religion…

This book was basically a satire of the Catholic church and how it’s more of an institution than a community of people with similar beliefs. It also raises questions about the nature of religion and atheism.

Jason’s Chutengodianism religion started as a joke, but Jason’s best friend starts to actually believe in the religion—he even writes an entire Bible, but he almost gets himself killed. The other two followers just join the church because they are bored and they just want the benefits. Also, they do stupid things in the name of Chutengodianism, and one of those two people almost gets killed.

Jason uses Chutengodianism to figure out his own feelings about God. In the end, he decides he’s an atheist. It was hard for him to admit that to his parents because they are both religious fanatics. As a punishment for founding Chutengodianism, his father had him stay at home and read about the Catholic religion all day and then write book reports on the books he read. In the end, the books didn’t convert Jason, and his father had to realize that Jason has to make his own decisions about religion. I can empathize with Jason. When I admitted to my parents that I was an atheist, they seemed to trivialize my decision. They didn’t make me read books about Christianity, but they would try to embarrass me at family functions and gatherings by announcing that I’m an atheist when it’s nobody’s business. They will say the occasional snide remark, but they let me believe what I want to believe.

When Jason founds Chutengodianism, he sees how a religion develops (supposedly). Someone claims that they have heard God or have had a divine experience, and then it escalates from there. The core message of the church is twisted and people use the religion as an excuse to do stupid or harmful things. Jason sees this corruption and decides that he doesn’t want to be a part of it. It’s deeper than that though, Jason genuinely doesn’t feel the presence of God. That’s the reason I became an atheist—I just don’t feel God in me, and I feel kind of silly trying to talk to God because I know he’s not there (for me, but I can’t speak for other people). Even if I had a relationship with God though, I don’t think I would belong to a church, because I don’t think a church is necessary to believe in God—the world is your church. Jason seemed to believe that a church is necessary to believe in God though, and that’s one message of the book I didn’t agree with.

Overall, I loved Godless. I thought it was hilarious! I recommend this to teens that are exploring atheism, but I don’t recommend that this be taught in schools. It could offend some religious teens and parents. I give this book four out of five stars because of its originality, humor, and style.

Families, Teens, and Religion

A lot of Young Adult literature that involves religion usually revolves around the teen figuring out what their religious beliefs are and their family’s role in that decision. The last book I read, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, put a lot of emphasis on family dynamics and how strong an influence parents and grandparents have on a child’s religious beliefs. Margaret felt very distressed about whether to become an atheist like her parents, Jewish like her grandmother, or Christian like her other grandparents. She felt like she had to choose one of them because she felt that if she didn’t choose, she was in some way, betraying her family if she didn’t choose (although her parents made it clear that it was completely her choice when it comes to religion).

In a recent survey, it was found out that about 82% of teens identify as Protestant, Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Mormon, or Jewish. Most of these teens are following in their parents’ footsteps. Does following their parents’ footsteps make them have a closer relationship with God, or their parents though? It seems to be the latter as the majority of teens today have a very superficial idea of their religion. Knowledge of their religion is shallow, and it’s hard for them to express the difference their belief in God makes in their lives. To many teens, God exists simply to solve their problems and to make people happy. Divine truth, exploration of the self, and a deep connection with God is not the purpose of religion to them.

More information about this study can be found in the book “Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers,” and this link: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/7019023/ns/us_news/t/study-most-us-teens-serious-about-religion/#.Ux_m616KWrc

It can be assumed from these survey results that teens mostly believe in God because, “Mom and Dad told me to.” Ever since they have been old enough to go to church, they have been told what to believe—they didn’t make a meaningful decision for themselves.

Does this mean that parents should not raise their child in a church environment until they can decide what they want for themselves? I cannot say, but I can say that there are a lot of positives to raising a child in a church environment. Religious teens tend to have better emotional health, academic success, community involvement, concern for others, trust of adults, and avoidance of risky behavior. Is there a way to retain that benefit and still allow teens to make decisions about their religious beliefs?

One suggestion is to be open-minded about discussing religious beliefs. Let the teen form his/her own religious beliefs over time. If the teen doesn’t want to go to church because he/she doesn’t agree with church teachings, open it up for discussion.

The NBC article below says there is research that suggests that family bonding is more important than religious beliefs. The teen should feel comfortable discussing religious beliefs with their family. If we came away with anything from Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. it should be that family relationships are more important than the religion your child chooses to believe in.

For more advice, check out this link: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/7349996/ns/health-childrens_health/t/when-parents-teens-clash-over-religion/#.Ux_hEV6KWr.